Chaos...

Life is chaotic...and it just got more hectic. The time of year I have been dreading has arrived. Wrestling season officially began yesterday for the high schoolers. This means that Ben does not get home from work until about 7:00 pm every night. By the time he gets home, the kids have already had supper, already done their homework, they are cleaned up and ready for bed. It is hard on me...he is so much help when he is home that I rely on it too much. It is time to change habits and start coming up with a routine that works for the boys and I.

There are days that just seem to never end and I have to remind myself to enjoy the boys when they are young. I never get this time back, but it is so hard. I know someday I will miss this...

Like when...

Eli takes off all his clothes, forces himself to pee by the front door, and then throws his underwear in the toilet. I'm gonna miss this, right?

Evan and Isaac start wrestling around until eventually they knock the picture frames down and I have to put them both in time-out. I'm gonna miss this, right?

Explaining to my 6 year old that he shouldn't suck his thumb and suggesting we put away blankies so he isn't tempted. I'm gonna miss this, right?

When Zeke is rolling and army crawling across the house, and I have to keep taking things out of his mouth and moving him while I am trying to get supper on the table. I'm gonna miss this, right?

Scrubbing carrots out of the carpet because Zeke has spit up while rolling across the floor. I'm gonna miss this, right?

Explaining to Isaac why he CAN'T keep chewing on his shirts and making holes in them. I'm gonna miss this, right?

Reminding the boys, night after night, that they can't get up while we are eating supper. Reminding Isaac that supper time is not the time to show us new karate moves. I'm gonna miss this, right?

Giving baths and chasing a naked three year old around the house and finally catching him when he gets to the garage. Explaining to him why he can't run around the house naked. I'm gonna miss this, right?

Cleaning up the second glass of spilled milk after I gave in and let three boys have a snack before bed. I'm gonna miss this, right?

Waking up at 4 AM with a teething baby who just wants to be cuddled. I'm gonna miss this, right?

Making sure bags are packed, shoes are tied, coats are zipped, rounding up hats, herding kids to the van, dropping them off at daycare, getting them inside the house, taking coats off, making sure their hair is not standing up....I'm gonna miss this right?

Working all day, coming home, working out while paying for an extra half hour of daycare just so I can get a couple minutes to myself, picking the little boys up, coming home for a few minutes, loading little boys back up, picking older kids up from their after school program, getting supper ready, making sure everyone is fed and cleaned up. Getting big boys' wrestling stuff together, packing up four boys, zipping coats, tying shoes, finding hats, driving to the high school, unloading everyone, getting the big boys' wrestling shoes on and tied, packing little boys back up, explaining to Eli why he is too little to wrestle with the big boys at practice, coming home, unloading everyone, baths, books, bedtime....I'm gonna miss this, right? 

Feeling like a failure when my kids misbehave in public, are out of control, don't listen, are too wild around other people, having people look at you and feel like they are thinking that you have no control, have too many kids, and should do things differently....I'm gonna miss this, right?

It's hard to explain to yourself that you are doing the best you can. It's hard looking at other families and wondering how they have it all together and wondering what you are doing wrong.  It is hard and somedays I feel like my only goal is to survive the day. It's also hard to remind yourself that your gonna miss this.