Tired....

...but I am not ready to go to bed. This is seriously the only time I get to myself....it's quiet, no one is bothering me and I can make a complete thought without being interrupted, and right now I am loving it! I know I better go to bed.....the kids will be recharged and ready to go in the morning. I can barely keep my eyes open, but I also feel like if I don't spend some time doing something enjoyable, I will be more stressed tomorrow.

I really didn't have anything to talk about...of course nothing to say when I can actually sit down and make a thought. I am completely exhausted. Ben and I are functioning on fumes right now. He has been so busy with his classes and roofing the house. We have had to make major house decisions lately and have been at each others' throats because of the stress of living out of a bedroom, taking care of three rowdy boys and building a house. It seems like we are always on the go and not having a place of our own right now is really wearing on everyone. It is so hard to live out of Rubbermaid tubs and duffle bags. We know it is all going to be worth it in the end, but man this is hard right now. We are frustrated, tired and excited all at the same time. Not always a pretty picture!

I am feeling quite lost myself. I devoted the last three summers to educating myself and challenging my brain. I think that being around others fulfilled my social needs. It seems that lately, I am missing that....never thought I would say that I MISS grad school, but I think I do. I haven't felt very accomplished lately. It was so satisfying to be going to school, and now that it is "gone" I feel like I am not doing a very good job at anything...at least I felt like I had an excuse when I didn't feel like I was being a good parent or I didn't get something done I was planning on..I was tired from school or the kids were out of sorts because I was gone. Now I have been around, and I have nothing to "blame" the imperfections on.

11:02...

The time when all three boys were finally in bed for the night...

I guess two good nights is all we get. Tonight was not a successful night...for some reason the older boys seemed to be "off" all day. I don't know if they were both overtired or what, but it was a rough day. Isaac had a particularly rough day....not sure if he is getting sick or what. He spent a good portion of his day screaming (mostly at me) and throwing major tantrums. Not sure what was up, but I am really hoping tomorrow is better. Not sure I can have a repeat of today. There were moments when both we just as sweet as can be. Then the other moments they were literally monsters....almost like someone flipped the switch on them. We went to Grundy today to attend the summer reading program at the library, just as we do every Wednesday. I am not sure if the boys were just in the mood to stay home and not travel or what. I guess I can't do anything to change the day....I can only hope that tomorrow is better. I think it will be.

Eli had a good day. He was his typical happy self....getting into everything and loving every minute of it. He is so close to crawling on all fours. He still army crawls around everywhere, but he is really close to crawling "for real".

Tonight when we were going to bed (for the first time) Isaac prayed for the people in Parkersburg. He prayed that they weren't in the tornados and that the "struction mans" (Construction) helped them fix their houses. We drive through Parkersburg when we drive to Grundy and I think that was on his mind. The boys have really had their eyes opened to the tornados and flooding this summer. Yesterday when they were playing in the sandbox, they had their matchbox cars all lined up and they were pretending that the other side of the sand box was flooding and they were trying to get out.

I am exhausted. Now that I have taken a half an hour for myself, Ben and I have to talk about the house and make some plumbing decisions...seems to be the only quiet time that we are both home together and can communicate.

Small Success...

We have been having a terrible time getting the (big) boys to bed at night. When I say terrible, I mean sometime close to 2 hours to get them settled down. Before we moved to Clarksville, they did such a good job getting in bed and going to sleep. Some nights we would go down to their room and they would be all cuddled up together in the same single bed. It was just adoreable. Because of that, when we moved in with Ben's folks', we decided that the double bed in the room that would be theirs would work great. They slept together almost everynight anyway and this was a bigger bed. Things have been disasterous! We end up losing our patience and not displaying the best parenting strategies. We are at our wits end. This last week when we were in Grundy, they did great. They each had their own bed and we didn't have any issues. Last night we decided to get an air mattress out and see if that would help the situation. One kid on a bed....
Last night was identical to the nights before. The only difference was the kids would bounce off of the big bed on to the air mattress like a trampoline. Great idea mom and dad :) Because of this, they were not allowed to fill their new baby pool up with water today and play.

Tonight went AWESOME! Granted it was late when they went up there because we had to read some books and design bugs for the summer reading program at the library. Of course we left it to the last minute! Evan read Isaac and I a book, they said their prayers and we didn't hear a word out of them. I am not getting my hopes up yet, but am very encouraged that it went so well. Yesterday Isaac had a much needed nap because we were out late the night before. Today he did not, so that could have been some of the problem. He is right in the in between stage of napping. He falls right asleep if we make him take a nap, but he is not tired at bedtime. If he doesn't have a nap, he seems to go to sleep a little better at night, but is a bear around 5-6 p.m. We are just going with the flow. If he is having a bad day and we need a break from each other, he takes a nap, otherwise we tough it out.

Really, when I think about all of this bedtime drama, I can't totally blame the kids. They have had a rough summer...we packed up all their belongings and put them into storage. We left the place they have lived all their lives and moved to Grandma and Grandpa's. It has been excitement overload but a lot of confusion as well. It has been hard to function as a normal family right now with the stress of building a house, fixing up Nanny's house and being displaced. We are working through things, but there are many bumps along the way. The kids are doing pretty good despite all of this. It is so hard to remember what they are going through too.

Today we had a blast outside. It was beautiful out. The boys had their squirt guns out. We tried to get some pictures of Eli in the grass. We (Evan and I) were not too successful. Everytime we put him down, he crawled away. He is a mover! He loves to be on the go....here are some fun pictures from the day.

Life is good....

Things so far with the house are going well. They have been able to work each day since they have started.  The rain we got the other night was fine and didn't hold them up. They have the hole dug and are planning to start the footings today. Soon it will have basement walls! We took the boys out there yesterday and let them look in. Ben yelled at them as they were running towards the hole ... "stay out of the mud" HELLO....it had just rained the night before and it was a big dirt hole. A little impossible! We both laughed after he said it. 

When I picked up Eli from daycare,  his eyes were red and mattery. Looks like pink-eye. I called the doctor and got some drops. Even if it isn't, the drops won't hurt and hopefully clear up whatever is irritating them. They were still red and goopy this morning. I like to think that they would have been a lot worse had I not gotten the drops. Hopefully I am right, and I was actually one step ahead of things. I have to work a track meet tonight so I didn't have time to deal with it today. Glad I called yesterday.

We are trying to cut Eli back on his Reglan. I just HATE having him on medication. He is still spitting a lot. He is now taking it 2x a day instead of 4. I may try to cut that back to 1x and see how he does. He is still a ton better than where he was. 

Eli tried peaches last night. It is safe to say, HE HATES THEM!!! He gagged, and coughed with every bite. He even shivered with the first few bites. It was pretty funny! But I did feel bad for torturing him like that! We will try a couple more times. I think they say it takes three times to acquire a taste for something new...I don't think I made that up, I really did hear that somewhere. Evan did the same thing with peaches. He used to spit them out and there was NOTHING that boy didn't eat. I tried them last night and they are pretty tart! Maybe next time will go better. He is eating the puffs now and loves those. He giggles with you put them in his mouth...and he chews and chews. Every so often he gags, but not as much as I thought he would! He loves them. 

There are many great things that are happening in our lives right now. Sometimes it is hard to remember that. Life is so hectic right now. Both Ben and I are feeling the stress from work, and not having our own place. It is probably the hardest thing we have ever had to do. I know this is the most stressed I have ever felt trying to figure out life for everyone. It will get a bit better once school is out. We are trying to be patient with each other and with the kids....it is so hard though. Life is really rough right now and it is difficult to see all the great things going on too. We keep reminding each other that despite all the stress and chaos... life is good......

I can't do this...

Seriously, I don't think I can do this. Not only are we trying to pack up and leave the place we call home, the older boys are orenry as ever and Eli is sick. Today daycare called to tell me that his fever was 104.5!!!! WHAT the heck? He is on antibiotics from when I took him to the doctor the other day. The doctor said there is a virus going around and one of the things is a very high fever. I would guess that is what Eli is fighting. Poor baby, and poor mommy and daddy...

Two more days...

I can't believe it. We only have two more nights in our home. The home that we brought all three of our babies home from the hospital in...the home that we have made so many memories - first as a family of two, then three, then four and now a family of five. There have been many tears and many moments of uncontrollable laughter, suppers together and movie nights on the living room floor. A home is just a material thing...we get to take all the memories with us, but yet, this is so hard. We know that we will make so many more memories in the place we will call our home in a few months. I don't think the boys really understand, we are never coming back here. They understand we are moving and see that are things are packed up, but I don't think they truly understand. I don't think it has really hit us yet.

There is so much stress right now. There are moments that I can barely stand it...I am on the verge of losing my mind.....We have to pack, Eli is sick, the boys are CRAZY wild, I have to finish up my grad school portfolio so I can graduate and we still have to work full time. I hope that we can make it through this. It has been so hard to not get down about things. We are having some trouble with the land we are trying to buy (long story...the state owns part of it and they are dragging their feet selling it back). Ben and I are both down, and at each others' throats. We are trying to enjoy life, but it is very difficult right now. Hopefully, soon, we can see that it is all worth the stress we are going through.