The t.v. isn't on....
The kids aren't fighting, or rough-housing....
The baby isn't climbing on the table or doing some other dangerous stunt....
Supper is served and cleaned up....
The only sound is the dishwasher going and the washing machine....The sound of accomplishment!
Things have been rough lately.
Ben is in full swing with wrestling. He is gone every night either with practice or a meet. If it is practice, he usually gets home about 7:30. I try to keep Eli up so he can see Ben, but really, he would prefer to go to bed around 6:30 or 7:00...he is usually tired and fussy by the time Ben gets home. If it is a meet night, Ben doesn't get home until the kids are sound asleep (usually after 10). Tonight he has night class, tomorrow a wrestling meet, Thursday a wrestling meet and Saturday an all day tournament. This is a lot for me to handle. I get so frustrated when I can't handle things....It is so hard to have a good attitude, and have patience when I am doing this all alone. It is hard to get the bills organized, do all the grocery shopping with three kids in tow, get meals made, served and cleaned up, keep up with the laundry, keep the house picked up, run the kids here and there, keep track of school work and schedules for the kids. Ben helps as much as he can, but the reality of it is that he is not home right now. I hate blaming Ben for all the stress... I know that life with kids is stressful anyway. Ben has a ton on his plate and tons of responsibilities too...and we are doing the best we can. We do get Sundays with him, but he has to spend the afternoons at school preparing for the week. The kids miss him and I miss him. I know this is very temporary...in a month we will be at state wrestling, which means the end of this schedule. I just feel like I am failing miserably...at everything. I am going to work on being more patient and having more fun with the kids. I hate that I snap at them and don't have more patience for them. I seriously don't know how mothers do this. I hate that it seems like everyone else has it all together and I just can't figure this out yet!
Ok, enough of my pity party. I am going to wake up tomorrow with a better attitude! Just needed to feel sorry for myself tonight!
3 comments:
okay i am spying but you said it was okay. you are not alone in feeling like that!! i know where you are at exactly. call me next time and we can pity together. or we could push each other completely over the edge and dump all 6 kids at one house. that many kids wouldn't need a parent would they? hang in there it will be better in like 20 years!
I think we could just put Isaac and Kara in charge...and leave!
Dont worry Jen, We all feel this way...and single parenthood makes it even worse! Hang in there!
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